What is it – a family?
Many of us noticed people walking down the street holding each other’s hands. This causes emotion and admiration for this relationship. Each of us wants the same. In 70 percent of families, relationships are resolved for various reasons, the worst thing about it is children who suffer from defective family relationships.
So still, what is a family?
Family is a feeling. Yes, yes – it’s a feeling.
Feelings are not logic, not cold calculation, feeling itself.
Let’s look at why?
Are you building your relationship the right way?
In the modern world of single people, many are happy that they have a soul mate, often without thinking about the quality of these relationships and making many mistakes. Or it may be that a person has been trying to arrange a personal life for years to no avail, but relationships often end according to the same scenario.
There can be many reasons for this behavior, including the relationship of parents as a model for the child, and they are not always successful, and the fear of something new. You can unconsciously repeat the same mistakes out of fear of the unknown, out of fear of making a mistake, because you do not know how, because you are afraid to do it differently.
To get out of this vicious circle, you need to understand the main typical mistakes in the relationship that men and women make, and make every effort to allow them as little as possible.
What is the difference between a man and a woman’s views on relationships?
In fact, this is already the key to unraveling why people make mistakes and cannot build harmonious relationships. Differences between the views of life, unwillingness to tolerate the shortcomings of another person, evaluation of him, in the end. After all, it is so arranged that a man is characterized by consistency, consistency, including when building relationships. And women, on the contrary, are emotional and illogical.
How does a man evaluate a woman?
In the logical brain of a man there is a well-developed scheme for evaluating a girl, which must either meet all the points or need to “replace the object.”
The first test is the evaluation of external data. Here they don’t argue about tastes: either we like it – and move on to the second point, or we don’t – we look further.
The ability of a girl to communicate
The second test is the girl’s ability to communicate, maintain a dialogue, her sense of humor, and, importantly, the comfort of spending time together. In the case of a complete lack of communication skills, the girl risks either never seeing this young man again, or becoming a girl for once. If consistent in terms of communication, the spouse proceeds to the next point.
the third test is the pleasure of sex. It is quite a logical and natural stage in the development of relations, however, it also greatly affects the development of further relationships. If it’s good in bed with a girl, the transition to the fourth test is indisputable. And if not so much, then options are possible. Depending on what feelings the young man managed to have for the girl or her readiness to meet the desires of the young man.
The fourth test is the comfort and absence of tension in the relationship with the girl. If after sex, lying in bed, the girl begins to list the list of things that a man needs to do, and even expands it in a few hours, because she has forgotten something, not everyone can withstand it. Here, either the girl ran into a masochist who is ready to fulfill any whim for sex, or in the end she will be left alone.
A man’s desire to see a girl as his wife, the mother of his children
The fifth test is a man’s desire to see a girl as his wife, the mother of his children. Comfort in relationships, mutual pleasantness of communication and enjoyment of each other – this is what a man needs, what he expects and wants from his girlfriend. And if he gets all this, and even a wonderful hostess to boot, he will definitely not run away from such a man.
How does a woman evaluate a man?
In the life of girls, things are completely different. Any pretty young lady always has someone, let her call it friendship, a relationship “for health”, a pocket guy or some other, but in most cases they start a new relationship in the event that they have found a more beautiful, richest, intelligent young man.
Therefore, the main reason for finding a new relationship for a woman is… Boredom! When she is tired of being too happy or unhappy, when everything is too good or too bad and you need to break out, then the thought arises of starting a new relationship.
How does a girl rate a guy? Here, oddly enough, there are significant differences from the male model. Appearance is undoubtedly important. But if a man is elegantly dressed, combed, smells delicious from him – this is already quite enough.
First of all, the girl evaluates her emotions from dating! It is the emotional footprint that will make her smile at the memory of your meeting, which makes her eyes glow and her heart poundes harder. Thus, if the process of meeting a man did not hurt emotionally, do not wait for the continuation.
The level of comfort of communication
Then everything is simple, almost the same as that of men. In the so-called candy-bouquet period, the girl assesses the level of comfort of communication, her understanding as a person. If mutual understanding is found – go to the next point, if not – the man goes to the bench or is transferred to the category of friends.
The impressions of sex also play a significant role. And since each girl has different requests, everything is individual. However, it should be particularly noted that the question of whether a girl wants to see this man as the father of her children or not simply does not arise due to the fact that if it comes to bed, then she subconsciously wants.
The fourth stage is to compare the current young man with the previous one. No matter how annoying it sounds for the guys, but each girl will compare, and if by some parameters the former was better – sorry, but the comedy ends. And it depends only on female wisdom whether the young man finds out how much worse he is, whether the reason for divorce will be found worthy.
And the final, fifth stage for the girl, oddly enough, is to re-compare the current and ex-boyfriends (after a few months of relationship). After the love passes, all the masks are dropped and there is no need to pretend to be macho, the man relaxes, feeling like the master of the situation. And this is perhaps his main mistake. Veda girl does not cease to evaluate and compare men with each other even after six months of relationship! Therefore, if the repeated comparison took place in favor of the current boyfriend, you can already introduce both your parents and think about the wedding. And if not, she will find a decent reason for divorce.
Perhaps it is these differences in the perception of relationships that are the main sources of errors in the relationship between a man and a woman. The linearity of male thinking can never enter into unison with the female mania of comparisons.
What are the main mistakes a woman makes in a relationship?
Each of the girls is accustomed to the home mouth of their lives. After all, the whole world consists of habits and the comfort zone that surrounds you. With no one else, in fact, there is no desire to part. But if you have a goal to live a happy life, with a man who respects and appreciates you, then you will have to overpower yourself, get out of your comfort zone, change your habits and get the desired result. Drove…
Disbelief in the strength, capabilities of a man
This is one of the most common mistakes women make in a relationship. Just remember what a wave of joy rolls from praise from the mouth of a loved one, a dear person. And how oppressive criticism and accusations work. Who said men react differently? They, too, can be vulnerable, vulnerable and need support from a woman! No wonder they say: if you want to be the wife of a general, marry a lieutenant. Indeed, in the advancement of a man on the career ladder, a woman plays a significant role. Believe in your husbands, support them, and over time it will bear fruit, you will see!
Another fatal mistake of a woman. Unfortunately, many women, having conquered a man, cease to fascinate him, attract him. They get used to it as a home attribute. And then there is the quite reasonable question of why he escorts beautiful women with his eyes. Yes, because her own woman has ceased to look after herself, and at home she walks in a worn bathrobe. Dear women, remember that even after 10 years of joint relationships, you can remain a mystery to a man, an attractive companion and a loyal friend. Do not launch yourself and find time to take care of your own appearance.
Lack of comfort both in the house and in the relationship
In pursuit of beauty, do not forget about the house! This can lead to a loss of understanding and the elimination of the spouse. It is the warmth and comfort of the home that will force the husband to abandon the trip to the sports bar in favor of spending time with his wife together.
Constant predictability and tired stability
Here is another typical mistake in a woman’s behavior. Of course, one can argue here that stability is good, but sometimes relationships need a breath of fresh air, change. Do not hesitate to pamper your husband with unexpected surprises, extracurricular gifts. After all, he also needs attention.
Unwillingness of a woman to let her husband go from herself
This can be a fatal mistake in a relationship. A man also needs personal space, he should not be your nanny and entertain you because you are bored. Similarly, you humiliate in him a Man who wants to conquer, conquer, and seek something new. And, as a result, when he achieves nothing in this life, there will be no one to blame but himself, because you didn’t have to keep him near your skirt! Take better care of yourself and give your man this opportunity.
Another factor in the relationship between a man and a woman that can lead to a breakup. And here all the responsibility falls on the shoulders of a woman, because it is she who needs to form them. Where to go to rest, how many children to have, what house to build and when to plant a tree – these are the issues that should be solved jointly by a man and a woman. Otherwise, you can make your husband a terrible egoist who is only interested in his own goals.
Perception of men’s habits as selfishness
It seems to be understandable, every woman wants attention, care, affection, and here he is going to the gym, for dinner with the boss and to the sports club. Suspicions may creep in… But think, for a moment, that he went to the fitness club because you once liked his cubes on the press, and he has dinner with his boss in order to solve his professional and career issues. And isn’t he thinking about your family’s future at this point?
Misunderstanding that a man is a real and main family
This is another common mistake of women! Oddly enough, when a woman’s status changes, the concept of a family changes. Of course, parents, grandparents, sisters and brothers will not go anywhere, they will forever remain relatives. But even despite the fact that by blood you are not relatives with your husband, you and your husband are your real family.
Shifting responsibility for a happy relationship to a man
Here is another typical mistake women make in relationships. Historically, a man is destined to achieve a great goal, and a woman is the keeper of the hearth, mother and wife. And in our emancipated age, it is sometimes difficult for women to come to terms with the fact that all responsibility for both the house and the family, and even for the work lies with it. But think about the fact that little girls, playing dolls, creating imaginary families, learn relationships from childhood. Boys, on the contrary, playing cars, war or sports games, learn to succeed, to win. That is why it is useless to accuse a man of not knowing how household duties are performed, a family is built – his energy is directed more at destruction than at creation. Do not shift the responsibility for the development of relations to a man, let him be a winner and concentrate his energy on achieving his goals, while not forgetting about you, of course.
High expectation of tenderness and affection
Women, as a rule, are characterized by a constant desire to be surrounded by affection, to hear pleasant words from a man. But the reality is that a strong, brutal man is alien to the minutely expression of his tender feelings. Don’t make a man confess to you every 15 minutes, especially if you’re not alone. Leave it for intimate moments when you are alone and belong only to each other.
What are the main mistakes a man makes in a relationship?
All boys, boys and men are leaders. Each of us dreams of building or buying a house, planting a tree, raising a son, having a well-paid job. And the most important thing is to have a friend, partner, loved one next to you – this is a wife. Loving, caring, who is always with you and by your side. In order to maintain such a relationship, you should not make the following mistakes.
Inattention to female appearance
No woman can forgive a man. After all, all these jars in the bathroom do not just take up a lot of space on the shelves. Clothes that do not fit in the closet are also not a stupid woman’s whim, whimpering and a desire to stupidly spend money. In fact, this expression of a woman’s secret desire always pleases her husband! A new hairstyle, makeup, blouse – all just for the sake of him appreciating her efforts! And, of course, empty, according to the man, insults about the fact that he did not notice a new hairstyle – this is a kind of trauma for a woman, since this is her perception of reality. In this case, she begins to feel all the futility of her efforts, ceases to feel welcome. After all, you are unlikely to be happy if she does not appreciate the new drives on your car or fresh tuning.
Lack of care for your appearance
It can also distract a girl. If she spends hours training in the gym, hairdresser, manicure, etc., then she has the right to expect that next to her there will be at least a shaved, trimmed, tidy person in time.
Lack of purpose in a man’s life
This in the eyes of a woman looks like an unforgivable blunder. Any woman wants to see a successful man nearby, with potential that she can be proud of.
It is very important to understand that a woman was created in order to follow her husband. This also applies to personal development. If you want your girlfriend to start developing, show her an example! If you want her to quit smoking, quit yourself first! It’s simple!
Harassment of a man for the role of the owner of the relationship
Here is another gross misconception of men regarding women. Men, you can be the owner of your company, company, department, car, after all. But remember that the role of the hostess in a relationship should be given to a woman! If she says it’s better for a relationship like this, then it really is!
Этого нельзя делать ни в коем случае! Конечно, приоритеты у момжчин иженщин совершенно разные. For a man, money, career, car, status, sex – this is everything that is necessary for the ego of life. For devushek, if it is not glavnym, then it is a great appearance, beauty, then do not tell your beloved in small weaknesses.
Women do not like soft-bodied men
Remember this! If over time you begin to lose your hardness, write-disappeared. First of all, it will begin to enrage you, then – your passion, which will later lose respect for you. Always remember that you are a Man!
Uncertainty and hiding current affairs from her
This can definitely be attributed to the list that a woman cannot forgive a man. Remember that your woman is the main ally! And the less often you turn to her for advice, the more she will move away. Be interested in her opinion, be open, and the half will reciprocate.
In nature, the choice is made by a woman, but not vice versa
This is the last, though not in importance, rule of nature – so try to justify this trust. After all, women in relationships invest a lot of strength, energy, care and love. Appreciate it, thank the woman and never forget what your beloved does for you.
How to build relationships and avoid mistakes?
As the famous proverb says, only the one who does nothing is not mistaken. Therefore, it is important to learn how to draw conclusions from your mistakes and try not to step twice on the same rake.
But there are things without which the relationship will never be harmonious. Try to bring the poem into life together.
Of course, without understanding each other. That is why friends often create beautiful, strong relationships. It is very important to speak the same language, to have common hobbies, preferences.
The second necessary element is trust. Forget about the habit of checking your loved one’s phone in the evening. If such a desire has arisen, then everything is not so smooth for you, and is it worth looking for a reason for a divorce that you do not want? Maybe you just need to figure out what does not suit you? Frankly talking can be better than being caught off guard while reading your partner’s SMS.
Don’t be afraid to let each other go
Do not forget that each person needs personal space. Therefore, do not demand from your half all her (his) free time, do not be afraid to let each other go to meet friends, colleagues, in the fitness room, etc.
The support of a dear person is invaluable, so if your passion wants to start a business, change jobs , support her (her) in this endeavor.
The ability to negotiate, to compromise gives a chance for a relationship for a long life, because in this case no one feels infringed.
The Christian ability to forgive is harmony in relationships, but also an indicator of their seriousness. If you want your loved one to be comfortable next to you, learn to forgive, forget minor grievances and not remember them even in the heat of a quarrel.
The manifestation of love is not a weakness. How will a dear person understand that you love them when you don’t talk about it? The lack of demonstration of one’s feelings is a big mistake in a relationship.
Talk directly about what you want, what you don’t like. If your partner is psychic, it may be a little easier in this case. But most need to learn how to directly say what’s on their souls.
If you truly love a person, do not do anything to spite him, because the boomerang tends to return.
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